Actual Gameplay

Hideki Naganuma -- Jet Set Medley (Hosted by Kingdom Hearts Insider)
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I remember having so much fun with this game, many many years ago. I had placed it way up here on this list, without a second thought. Jet Set Radio (Or Jet Grind Radio as you yanks call it) stayed with me for many years in the form of it’s soundtrack in my iTunes library. But when it came to writing about the game, I honestly couldn’t recall much of it. So I’ve gotten myself a copy of the game, running on an actual old school Dreamcast right here, and playing the game, something’s suddenly become clear.

Jet Set Radio is video game smack. I fucking swear. Despite it’s flaws you just want to keep playing. It’s addictive, for all the right, and wrong reasons.

AKA Jet Set Radio DS

You’re pulled in from the start, by its sharp, radical graphics. You’re sucked in by it’s hip punchy music that put many electronic artists of the time to shame. But you start playing, and the game plays in the oddest way. Jumping in this game makes Sackboy feel heavy, the camera tilts upwards as you slowly float towards the floor. I swear, when you’re falling from high buildings, its like watching the moon landing. Not only that, but as you attempt to control your character in mid-air, he steers like a car, rather than a platformer character. So as soon as you get a ‘showdown’ challenge from a rival, you can forget landing on specific rails and small platforms. If you’re an inch off, you’ll drift past like a feather.

But playing this game again, I asked myself, why am I putting up with this, and the simple answer is that the game is just so god damn cool. I’m all too willing to put up with these strange mechanics, just so I can keep on hearing that sweet, sweet Hideki Naganuma. Heck, I even got myself Jet Set Radio Future, simply because of the first game.

I swear, when SEGA came to making this game… cool came first, and design came second.

Find Jet Set Radio on eBay

Jet Set Radio (C) SEGA

Music from Braid by Sieber, Kammen, Fulton and Schatz

You, now.

You’re in a familiar world, full of green hills, floating girders, pirahnas leaping out of pipes with a thoughtless snap and small creatures with no care in the world walking to and fro. You run, you bounce on enemies, who fall below you, beyond the deepest pits you can see. There is a princess to be rescued and there is little time to lose..

But then you look around more closely. The world around you is melting. Its neither solid nor liquid, like a dream. The creature flies from the ground, you run backwards, bounce on him again and he is brought back to life. His face is still, as if nothing had happened.

Confused, you run forwards. Enemies hurry towards you. You stop in your tracks, as do they, the world turning silent. Like a photograph, familiar yet dead.

You ain’t in mushroom kingdom, you’re in MUTHA FUCKING BRAAAAAAAAAID!

.won ,uoY

Although “Time Slip” which I covered earlier is much more brutal with its exploration of space and time, its ultimatly Braid’s solid production that’s made me place this above, although being one of the few people who knew about “Time Slip”, it was frustrating to say the least when Braid received critical acclaim for innovation for a game addressing space and time. That aside, Braid is still a brilliant brilliant game.

At its core, Braid is Super Mario meets Requiem for a Dream. Everything else is a profound exploration of space and time. But its mostly grim and emo. The games melting watercolour artwork and soothing music (Play at the top of the page if you haven’t already) are the major contributors to the mood. You’re transported into this surreal alternate world.

Dont lie. You were thinking the RIGHT throughout the game.

There is a much deeper meaning to the game intended, which has been discussed and analyzed to death by its core fans. The most popular theory though suggests that Tim is a scientist who was once deeply involved with the development of the Atomic Bomb, and Braid is his self-exporations into the depths of his mind..

UGH FORGET THAT, ITS ABOUT THIS LITTLE DUDE IN A SUIT

Purchase Braid from Xbox Live Marketplace, Playstation Network or Steam

Braid (C) Number None Inc.

What does your head do Rayman? Exactly, fuck you.

North Town Theme (Hosted by Kingdom Hearts Insider)
[Audio clip: view full post to listen]

Oh lord, its been WAY too long since I’ve posted one of these lil’ articles here. For a while I was considering taking it over to Tumblr, but it doesn’t quite satisfy my needs. I’ve had no real enthusiasm to continue this series for some reason, but I cant wait to share a couple of my thoughts with some games later on..

So I cant sit here forever, I’ve got to wrap this series up.. perhaps if I just continue typing like this, something will come out. Right now, I have no idea what to write about this game, all I can remember is it was my absolute favorite game in primary school.

The game was banned in the USA for its extensive use of subliminal advertising. Sponsored by TARGET, TARGET, TARGET.

If the amount of imagination pumped into this game were equivalent to milk poured in cereal, then your entire mother fucking house would be flooded. From the get-go, you’re treated to an incredibly rich cutscene, thrown into an action packed chase, then as you play, you find something is always happening and changing. I had not seen this level of detail and creativity in a game up until this point.

All this before you even discovered the many power-up heads at your disposal. My favourite was probably the vacuum head, which allowed you to clear entire screens of enemies with ease. As you’d continue the game though, you’d very soon rely on your head to navigate around the level. Throwing your oddly decapticated skull around, you’d shove HUGE BALLS into your mouth then get thrown off the ground. It was like a dynamic itteration of Bionic Commando for kids, but more gay.

Miss Dynamite earnt her nick-name by giving her producers lots of head.. and gaining secret bonus points.

Alas however, the game taunted me with its ruthless difficulty. With power ups and a gripping system that gave you immensely enjoyable dynamic momentum, you couldn’t help but dick about in this colorful world of puppets. Thus usually, I’d be dead just after the nutcracker… giant robot dog… thing..

I was 9 at the time though! During university however, in a spell of nostalgia, I dedicated myself to completing the entire game. After grinding hard for almost an hour, collecting as many SECRET BONUS POINTS as possible, I was ruthlessly defeated late into the game. I was 21, and I still couldn’t beat this son of a bitch game.

This is probably why I’ve put off this god damn review until now. This game exists just to taunt me. I’ll never be able to conquer the cat, robot, thing with the awesome music, and shit.

You know what, I dont fucking care anymore. Dynamite Headdy is totally gay anyway.

Play Dynamite Headdy on “Mega Drive Collection” for Xbox 360 or PS3

Dynamite Headdy (C) SEGA

This article was originally written in July 2010

Metal Gear Solid Theme (Hosted by Kingdom Hearts Insider)

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I briefly played the Metal Gear Solid demo when I was boarding school over 10 years ago. It was a surprisingly embracing experience, with an arcade feel about it, perhaps since the game for the most part is technically played in 2D. It wasn’t a game I immediately became excited about though. I had never played the original NES version, or too many action games in particular, so the Metal Gear experience came and went.

It wasn’t until the looming release of Metal Gear Solid 4 for Playstation 3 that I decided to invest myself in the series. Grabbing the series in 2008, the second and third instalment didn’t do much for me honestly, but the first game for Playstation One got me hooked. It’s an incredible game, and I’m ashamed for not playing it throughout those years.

Oh right.. erm, gameplay footage…

Honestly, like Half Life 2, there’s not too much I can say about this game, except its just completely engrossing. I’m no Metal Gear die-hard fan, all it is to me is an incredibly great game. I spent a good week addicted to it back when I grabbed myself a copy though. The game was surprisingly cinematic, considering it was a Playstation one game! Its something you just take for granted now, but thinking about it, this game would have left a hefty impression in the industry.

Its something the series seemed to take pride in, the final instalment practically being more movie than gaming. When I was told to grab some popcorn before playing the game, I simply laughed. Oh how wrong I was, with an introduction cinematic of around half hour, and a end-game cinematic of just over two hours!

As for the first game though, everything is balanced nicely. Highlights for me include the Psycho Mantis boss of course, as well as the range of gadgets and weapons you could use. The game had charm you’d find in old BBC Micro games though. Throughout the game, you could use cigarettes and cardboard boxes for little beneficial use, well, with a couple of notable exceptions.

Metal Gear Solid was simply crazy fun!

Purchase the original Metal Gear Solid on the Playstation Network

Metal Gear Solid (C) Konami

This article was originally written in February 2010

This is what you look like right now. Yeah yeah, I know you have no idea what this game is..

Back to the Future theme (For lack of in-game music) (Hosted by Kehuan.net)
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Yeah, you’re all like OMGWTFhuh, right? Ok. Time Slip was one of those shareware kinds of deals. If you’ve ever owned anything with a floppy disc drive, you’ll know what I mean. Those quirky little games made by bedroom developers, with strange quirky sound effects and poor graphics. They possess a kind of charm about them that other games lack.

Time Slip was such as game, for Sony’s “Net Yaroze” movement in the late 1990′s. Net Yaroze was a modified Playstation bedroom coders could purchase for around £550. Developers could create games for the system, however distribution was an issue, as there was no means of mass distribution. Today, Microsoft offer a solution through their “Indie Games” movement, powered by the XNA SDK, however back in the days of Net Yaroze, your best bet was to impress the guys over at the Official Playstation Magazine to publish your game on their demo-disc.

Net Yaroze was Playstation produced for hobbyist coders and students. Todays equivilant would be XNA for Xbox 360.

Time Slip at first appears like a fairly innocent platforming game. Collect all the coins, then head to the goal. But the moment the first minute of the game is over, you can just feel things are going to become very very twisted. In the style of LOST Season 5, every 60 seconds, you slip backwards in time, thus creating a multiple version of you. You must play the level, anticipating what your future self might want and need to do, so you’ll spend a bunch of time at first standing on switches, in order to allow your future self to pass through various passages and areas.

It all sounds fun, but theres a terrible, twisted danger. If you interact in your future self in any way whatsoever, if you touch him, shoot him, or if he shoots you; then you have created a catastrophic time paradox, and the universe disintegrates all around you. This is seriously deep shit. The longer you stay in a level, the far more unstable the world becomes, simply by your presence. While games such as Braid have come out in recent years, building their gameplay along the same concept, Time Slip takes time travel in gaming to an extent that messes with your head, and provokes some profound questions. This game is chaos theory, the butterfly effect, for dummies.

YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS ARE DEAD. GAME OVER.

Shuggy (AKA Time Slip Redux), coming to Xbox Live Arcade... someday

To think, if you were to go backwards in time, 10 years, even if you just stood in the middle of a town, people would glance, pause for a split second to think, and continue their day.. but that change, in any circumstance, ripples through time, like an unstoppable avalanche caused by a single shift of snow. People you know to have been killed in accidents in those past ten years arn’t killed. Children you know to have been born in those past ten year’s arn’t… the world is entirely differnt.

Ugh, screw trying to explain this shit.. just watch this video and it’ll all suddenly make sense..

David Johnston continues to make independent games under the alias, “Smudged Cat Games”. He is now incorporating the concept of Time Slip into a full Xbox Live Arcade title, called “Shuggy”.

Search for Official UK Playstation Magazine Demo-Disc 48 on eBay

Time Slip (C) David Johnston and Mike Goatly

This article was originally written in February 2010

According to the Japanese, this is what you'll look like when you play the game.

“Roundabout” (Hosted by KHInsider)

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On the launch day of Sony PSP, I had to make the decision, of which launch game to settle on. With a student budget of £0, I didn’t have the luxury of such things as additional games! (Although technically, I didn’t have the luxury of getting a PSP on launch day either). Anyways, although I could have chosen “Metal Gear Acid” or “Wipeout Fusion”, it was “Lumines” that I went for. The checkout assistant had a look on his face like I was buying a porno magazine or something.

Anyways, like dumping the only girlfriend I’ve ever had and remaining single for over 7 years, its a decision I’ve not once regretted! Lumines is a life defining game for me, both in its presentation, and its unique gameplay.

Lumines is a healthy substitution for hallucinogenic drugs and hard rave music

From the moment I had learnt of the concept of the game on the internet, I knew it would be a game I would keep playing for months. What I didn’t expect though would that I’d end up playing it for a few years. Infact, its the only PSP game I’ve really liked. Whilst anyone I’ve seen play the game has huge difficulties trying to put together a simple square for the timeline to wipe, I seem to just continuously get huge chains. It comes with repeated play I guess, the select sequences that work come to you, you eventually stop thinking, and lose yourself in the game’s varied sound-scape.

The game puts you in a trance. Thats the best way to describe it.

I eventually sold my PSP in the last year of university, but when I got myself another a year into my new job, and the only means of hacking one was through an exploit introduced in Lumines, it was the perfect excuse for some nostalgic gameplay.

Alas though, the Lumines franchise has branched over to home consoles, so there was no reason for own a PSP anymore. I occasionally give the game a play on Xbox Live, and although I’m technically sucked deeper into the experience with my 5.1 surround, and 42 inch TV, its not the same. For me, Lumines was almost like some kind of euphoric purgatory, that would eat my time on train rides up and down the country. Whilst others sit for hours in lonely silence, I was having a full stimulating mental workout, assualting sight, sound and thought. I’m sure I’ll be playing Lumines again on a boot-fair PSP in many years time.

Purchase “Lumines” for PSP on Amazon UK

Lumines (C) Q Games

This article was originally written in February 2010

Osaka Evolved ver. B on Expert, if you

Naoki -- B4U
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Dance Dance Revolution signalled the start of the 21st century, as it dwindled the popularity of other popular fad’s at the time like Harry Potter and Pokemon. In a sense, it also signalled the rise of accessory based gameplay. Whilst previous home adoptions like Beatmania, and Samba De Amigo weren’t too successful, with only a few cult fans; Dance Dance Revolution swept the world with its tacky plastic mats which break if you try the game, but you felt so good about the whole experience, you’d buy another twenty.

There’s a reason that in whichever arcade you might visit, Dance Dance Revolution tends to stand right by the entrance. The thing creates such a vibe when people play it; and should you be playing it, you’re totally sucked into it. The music in this game is incomparable to anything else in the musical world. Some might call it JPop, but I reckon its its own genre; if you hear a DDR song, you’ll instantly say DDR.

With the rise of rhythm-based games like Guitar Hero and Rock Band, the DDR formula has been adapted and applied so its more universally accessible. Like DDR, Guitar Hero and Rock Band create a vibe which you feel you’re a part of; however the games more universally appriciated, as its easier to play a plastic instrument, than physically rave. Whenever I pass an arcade though, I’ll always have another go, the crowd comes too which always surprises me. There’ll always be a place for hard rave music in everybodys hearts, be it with interest or disapproval, and in the noughties, DDR was that place.

Browse “Dancing Stage” products on Amazon UK

Dance Dance Revolution (C) Konami

This article was originally written in January 2010

Valve -- Dark Energy

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Half-Life 2 is one of the most immersive games I have ever played on the PC. Theres not really too much I can say about this game, apart from how incredibly well the entire thing has been put together. Every creative decision made in this game seems to have been made in the name of immersion, its the greatest thing I love about Valve.

There are no cutscenes without context, you’ll never jump halfway around the world for a piece of infomation unless its on a TV screen, because you ARE Gordon Freeman. You’ll never teleport to a new area without using an actual teleportation device, or travelling through the actual world, because you ARE Gordon Freeman. Even Alex, the female antagonist has been analysed thoroughly, as made clear in the Episode One directors commentary. The creators tried their hardest to eliminate a sense of lonelyness and despair, without creating an irritating and annoying sidekick, and it benefits the game in so many ways.

Besides the games direction though, the game is a pleasure to play from beginning to end. The sound design is astounding also, the gradually approaching sounds of manhacks, as well as the downright creepy “fast zombies” sends chills down my spine every time, it almost feels like a Lucas film in a way. The entire game has an old school vibe about it too, perhaps its the fact that gameplay is interrupted so little, but for me, everything just feels responsive. You never feel like you’re travelling too slow, and the in-game physics give a sense that you are in full control. The source engine is just absolutly astounding.

Buy Half Life 2 on Steam

Half Life 2 (C) Valve

This article was originally written in January 2010

Some terrible cosplayer

The Legend of Zelda: A Link To The Past -- Overworld (Hosted by Kingdom Hearts Insider)

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Well it was inevitable. You find a top video games ever made list, and you find Zelda. Thats a fact of life pretty much. Well, there are three Zelda’s in my top 40 list, the question is, which ones are they, and which one’s top?

Well not this one! Ha ha ha! Theres not too much I can say about the Legend of Zelda seires honestly, as I’m not as big a fan of them as other people and other games. There is one particular game I hold dearly to me though. This isn’t it, however it was probably the most magical game I had played on the Super Nintendo. The Legend Of Zelda: A Link To The Past, had an atmosphere about it. I cant describe it, from the rain right at the start, with the atmospheric music throughout, you got a good sense for the world. It didnt really feel like an alive world, not too many games did back then, but it certainly had character, throughout.

The dark world concept later resurfaced in the series

I’ve never gotten too far in this game, although I’ve always intended to. Initially when I had the game back in the day, I had worked my way through it and defeated Ganon in Hyrule castle. However as soon as you feel like you’ve beaten the game, it throws a crazy twist that turns the whole game on its head. A dark world emurges, introducing the concept of travelling through dimensions. The game double itself right there and then quite intense.

The battles were great, and you got a brilliant sense of adventure in this huge world though. Although this felt like the best 2D Zelda game I had played, there was another which was more of a personal favorite of mine which is higher in the list. This game earns its place in my list though for its true atmosphere, a vibe you felt when you played your games on the Super Nintendo itself, an experience you’d never find on any other console.

Find The Legend Of Zelda: A Link To The Past on eBay

The Legend Of Zelda: A Link To The Past (C) Nintendo

This article was originally written in November 2009

This is not Marble Blast Ultra

Marble Blast Ultra -- “Tim Trance”

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I always get a couple of odd looks when I say that one of my favorite games ever made is Marble Blast Ultra for the Xbox 360, its the kind of game you’d assume to be quite casual. You could compare the game to Super Monkey Ball, or Marble Madness, simply because you’re rolling a ball around a level. Theres a greater depth to Marble Blast though, which makes the game deep and challenging, but at the same time simple and accessible.

While Marble Madness in the arcade was a frantic and ruthless race against time, where you had to navigate across taxing levels with sloppy controls, Marble Blast Ultra is about clearing a level in as best a time you can, with controls that excel in absolute precision.

While Super Monkey Ball is about reaching a goal by tilting the entire world, in Marble Blast Ultra you have direct control over the ball itself. If you drop off an edge of a platform above another in Super Monkey Ball, you are very VERY lucky if you can land your monkey on it. However, in Marble Blast Ultra, using spin and ‘blasts’ both in the air, and when landing on the ground, you can bounce your ball in a precise direction; a feature that both later puzzles and online multiplayer demand if you are to succeed.

This is also not Marble Blast Ultra

Its this surprising amount of depth that makes Marble Blast Ultra so compelling, and competetive for me. Theres a tension I always feel, when throwing myself across the level, bouncing across the very edges of platforms, just to gain those extra milli-seconds in an effort to grab gems first. The multiplayer half the time is fierce, where an elite number of players will zip around the level unnaturally to stay ontop.

As for the other half of multiplayer sessions though, there are a number of fun glitches that are often exploited. For instance, if you jump off the level in certain places, all players will spawn in the exact same spot, causing bounces and ‘blasts’ to catapult players miles above the level. Another glitch would cause players to lodge themselves in a levels platform, if they drive themselves underneath a slope for long enough. Grabbing a super-speed, using it, holding down the trigger and jump whilst running into another super-speed up the half-pipe is always fun too.

If you’re after something you can pick up and play, yet master like a pro, I highly recommend Marble Blast Ultra. Although I grabbed it the day it came out for full price, I believe its now discounted. With additional map-packs now out too, theres not been a better time to check it out y’all. Especially if you’re a fan of either Marble Madness or Super Monkey Ball!!

Play Marble Blast Now on InstantAction

Marble Blast Ultra (C) GarageGames

This article was originally written in November 2009

Soul Caliber -- The Stage of History (Hosted by Kingdom Hearts Insider)

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I’m really not a fan of fighting games at all. Its a tired and dated format, but more to the point, I totally suck at them. Enter Soul Calibur however, not only is it unique in its visual presentation, but it was damn damn fun to play. For me, the best thing about this game were the controls. Whereas in other games such as Tekken, you would have to research these strange button combo’s, in Soul Caliber, each combination had context. With a combination of directions, vertical and horizontal attack, the character ended up performing a move which somewhat matched the motion of the button combo. For me, it gave you a sense of freedom to experiment with your character. If your character somehow pulled off a crazy new move, you wouldn’t be scratching your head to how you did it as other games, you’d recognize the jist of the move and know where to take it from there.

The game was packed with a multitude of extras also, in the quest mode. It seemed that whenever you completed a stage, you would unlock, something, be it a costume, stage, concept art or music. There was several depths to this game, both in terms of content and design, that I had never experienced beforehand. Whilst I was never really a fan of Street Fighter or Mortal Kombat, Soul Calibur got me addicted.

Buy Soul Calibur on Xbox Live Arcade

Soul Calibur (C) Namco-Bandai

This article was originally written in November 2009

Mrsimon Live – August 2010 by Mrsimon on Mixcloud

This last 6 weeks, I’ve been working hard on a mental set to lay down at my pal’s birthday party! It was packed, and people digged it hard, even raving at some of my harder tracks! Certainly, the single greatest moment in my music history I’d say!

It was tons of fun, I was totally surprised people dugg the unknown stuff, even had a number of people who have been to many clubs around the world, telling me I was the most entertaining DJ they’ve seen.

You can listen to the set above. Unfortunatly its the DJ output only, no crowd or anything!

Also, you can grab just the original tracks I played on the night, on my SECRET NEW ALBUM, “mrSimon @ Wenfest 2010″. Click the album artwork above to check out the album!

In the afternoon, I also played some music but it quickly turned into its own set, with a dedicated crew of people jazzing right out to some classic garage. Check that out too if you fancy, by clicking here!

And lastly, after the big main set at about 1am, I was requested to play some more tracks. I was mashed, but I played for another half hour or so. You can check that out here too (by clicking here) if you particularly fancy.

Some superb fan-art

Superfrog -- World 1

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Superfrog was a platformer created by Team 17 (Who later went on to create, and build their company upon the Worms franchise). It was perhaps the best original platforming game created for the Amiga, so in my eye’s, Superfrog was to Amiga as Mario was to Nintendo. Yep, although the Amiga had Great Giana Sisters, which seems to be more recognizable by Amiga fans, its not exactly original is it? You can’t deny that!

Superfrog truly was its own. Whilst the level structure and design was more reminiscent of Mario rather than Sonic, its rich enviroments, gadgets and secret passageways gave the impression the world was much more deep. Superfrog had a number of unique abilities too. Not only could he jump quite high (What with him being a frog), he could gain the ability to break his fall using his cape (Not as smooth as Knuckles glide, but came in handy when making long jumps). He could also find a small green blob friend, and use him as a strange cross between a yo-yo and a boomerrang. In addition, when he drank a bottle of Lucozade (Dont you just love product placement?!), Superfrog could run at phenomenal speeds, rivalling Sonic the Hedgehog, although in my opinion way too fast to control. Still, it sent a brief thrill down your spine.

For reasons unknown, Eric W. Schwartz was not commisioned for later Superfrog cameos

Superfrog was my favourite game as a kid growing up, many weekends were wasted on this game. Although I couldn’t complete it without the aid of cheats, it held my attention for years. I came back to playing this game during first year of university, when I started getting the grips of emulation software. I was simply shocked at how much more difficult the game was. Perhaps its due to new-age video games breaking from tradition, where dying no longer has any risk attached to it. Regardless, its unique music and gameplay sent me back to those 90′s weekends with ease.

I also discovered that the game also had a fully animated introduction contained on Disc 3. Argh! If only I had known 10 years beforehand, I would have totally shat myself. The animation is surprisingly good for Amiga’s time, considering the amount of memory required to contain what was essentially an FMV. I did some research into the animated introduction, and found it was created by an animator called “Eric Schwartz”. Upon further research, I found that apparently he’s some kind of god among the furry community, now the author of a number of comics starring ‘Sabrina’ or something… And I was wondering why Superfrog looked monstrously differnt in Worms Blast!

Where Sonic and various others have failed in a move to 3D, Superfrog has all the potential to make a stunning comeback, perhaps as a revamped Xbox Live Arcade title. However, when Team 17 staff described it at a University of Bradford lecture I attended in 2007 as the ‘most difficult game they’ve ever programmed’, my hopes were shattered. I very much doubt it’ll happen now, which is a huge pity.

Regardless, Superfrog always has a special place in my heart. A platformer filled with plenty of charm!

Find Superfrog on eBay

Superfrog (C) Team 17

This article was originally written in October 2009

The creators of The Lost Vikings went on to create a game... that maaaybe you've heard of.

The Lost Vikings -- Spaceship Music

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The Lost Vikings was another gem for the Amiga. All the best stuff was coming there first, I swear! First giving The Lost Vikings a shot on a random demo-disc, I went in expecting a regular platformer. Instead, The Lost Vikings offered some great puzzles, within a quirky world with goofy characters, and dialogue that refused to take itself seriously.

I got the game again during university for the Game Boy Advance, giving the actual game a real shot without any form of cheats. Some of the levels get quite intense. Not only do you rely upon each vikings key strength, but the vikings must also adapt to each world they encounter, utilizing modern technology and other strange devices. This game was full of charm, and it was incredibly challenging.

Fingers crossed that Activision Blizzard will come to their senses, and produce “World of the Lost Vikings”.

Find The Lost Vikings on eBay

The Lost Vikings (C) Blizzard Activision

This article was originally written in October 2009

Crash Bandicoot -- Jungle Rollers, Rolling Stones

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You guys are really really going to hate me for this, but Super Mario 64 is not on my Top 40 list. Thats right you sons of bitches! I chose Crash Bandicoot over Mario. Take that suckers. Why have I done this, let me explain y’all.

Super Mario 64 did indeed get 3d ‘right’ when it was released, by giving the power of the camera to the player. However, it was never something you ever had to think about in platformers before hand. Before 3D, for me, Mario was a game about best controlling your speed to tackle the level in the best way, the manipulation of Mario was key to its gameplay. As soon as you stuck a camera you controlled into Mario, the game became about the world rather than Mario, you’d play differently. The moment Mario turned to 3D was the moment it became an entirely new game. In newer titles in the Mario series, like Super Mario Galaxy, you do not even directly manipulate the camera.

Crash Bandicoot on the other hand kept things traditional, you do not control the camera, but it was still a step into 3D gameplay, a better one than Super Mario 64 in my honest opinion. Mario 64 revolutionized 3D, but no game could particularly revolutionize the platformer without creating a sub-genre. Whilst Crash Bandicoot technically didn’t either, it felt like a fresh new game back when platformers were starting to become bland and were released less frequently.

There was nothing more satisfying than taking those boxes on straight on.. You could just spin, and ride right through them, sending shards of wood in every direction. So so satisfying. You could say you get that in Mario, jumping dead into blocks, but you’d have to keep tapping. You could roll into a wall as Sonic too, but no, you spin into these crates, it sends chills down your spine its so incredibly fun. Unfortunately, you’d have to control yourself, spin too often, you’ll completely lose your Apples, sending them in every direction. Spin before looking, you could land yourself a explosive demise.

For me, the game was about perfection. Smash every crate, and slowly you’d discover secret gems. Although I couldn’t do it myself, with the help of cheats, it was made clear that if you collected absolutely every gem, you’d unlock the secret ending!!! Well I watched it and it was toss, but I’m sure I’d crap myself if I had gone into the effort of grabbing them all. As least it was not as anti-climatic as collecting every emblem in Sonic Adventure, to be met with nothing but the emblem list screen. God that hurt me, but more about that later.

There is no question, Naughty Dog wanted to make Uncharted from the very start

Crash Bandicoot is still fun to play today in my opinion, the graphics are still quite reasonable, with the exception of the characters, which are so low poly and low-res, you get some strange aliasing issues which make them look a bit silly. Thats part of the charm for me though.

There were two direct squeals on the Playstation, which both added a LOT more to the game, but I’ve chosen the first in the seires as it laid the foundation for its later games. Other developers attempted to match the success of Crash Bandicoot and Super Mario 64, with titles like Glover, Croc, Gex, Bubsy 3D, etc. In my eyes they failed by doing everything that Crash Bandicoot didn’t, they made the game overly complicated for a ‘platformer’. As the dudes here at work say, less is more!

Buy Crash Bandicoot on the Playstation Store

Crash Bandicoot (C) Activision

This article was originally written in October 2010

If you like, a lot of chocolate on your biscuit, join our..... Penguin.

James Pond: Robocod -- Opening Sequence (Remixed by Makke)

[Audio clip: view full post to listen]

James Pond: Robocod was another one of those quirky games for the Commodore Amiga. Small funny character running around with some form of super-ability collection obscure and pointless objects… This feels British.. Is it British? (Checks Wiki…) Ha ha ha! It totally is!

What Robocod set itself out to do to make it unique though, was James Pond’s unique ability, to stretch to insane proportions. If a level were big enough, this dude would rival Longcat. Keep that stretch button held down, and you would continue to rise into the air, unless your mile-high naval was prodded by a character, then you would be shot back to the ground. A rather addictive feature, although not a great deal helpful in most of the levels.

Sorry, but our dignities in another castle

The aim of the game is to save the Penguins. More specifically, the penguins which sell Penguin biscuits. The world cant have Penguin biscuits unless you rescue the Penguins.. Got I want a Penguin biscuit just thinking about the whole thing.

Recently the game was ported to PS1 (Which I grabbed from Playstation Network, for the sheer nostalgia), and was shocked to find that the Penguins were replaced with Elves.. That made more sense, because apparently Robocod is not saving the yummiest chocolate biscuit on the planet, he’s saving Christmas!

It makes more sense when you have that in mind, because all the random items and objects you happen to pick up along the way (Like coathangers, ring’s, chocolate coins, t-shirts) have context! Whereas when I played the original Amiga version, the only impression I got was that in order to have a happy christmas, you needed Penguin biscuits.

Hold on… there seems to be a bit of a theme going on here!!!

Robocod = Eat Penguins. Zool = Eat Chupa Chupps. Sleepwalker = Sponsor Comic Relief. Pushover = Eat Quavers. Superfrog = Drink Lucozade

Was there any particular reason why Amiga games were so hell-bent on selling a product to you whilst you were playing a game? I would have thought the Amiga itself wasn’t pushing too many units, and TV advertising was still quite hot back then.. Reviewers note games like Crazy Taxi for Dreamcast for spearheading in-game advertising. Peeps, you should have seen the stuff that came out on Amiga, you couldn’t step away from it!

Find Robocod on eBay

James Pond: Robocod (C) Millenium Interactive

Article was originally written in October 2009

Trust me, Repton is not this.

Black and White Rag (Performed by the American Symphony Orchestra)… for lack of Repton 3 theme

[Audio clip: view full post to listen]

Back in the early 90′s, my mind was warped by many forms of Nintendo’s marketing onslaught. One second it was the Super Mario Brothers Super Show, next it was Captain N: The Gamemaster.. Before you could breath, The Wizard was forced down your throat. The intense marketing you could get away with around that period was disgusting, take the infamous McDonalds musical number in ‘Mac and Me’ for instance.

But then, I played Super Mario Brothers. My mind was blown, and I was transformed forever. I needed to own a Nintendo Entertainment System, immediately.

Unfortunatly, I recieved a BBC Micro and with it, Repton 3. In my eyes, Repton is to the BBC Micro as Mario is to Nintendo.

I dunno, always looked like he was skating to me..

I can only assume that due to the huge success of the Nintendo, old educational machines introduced in the 80′s suddenly got a billion-fold cheaper. There was a huge push to get BBC Micro’s into every school, so what with my mum working for one, I’d imagine she scored a cheap deal.

What I quickly discovered though was there was a big collection of rather good games on the BBC Micro to play. Top of the list for me was Repton 3. Boiled right down to basics, Repton 3 was essentially a Boulder-dash clone. However, the mechanics of the game were startlingly different. Half of the levels would be based around a maze of walls and corridors, unlike Boulder-Dash’s level design, which was much more open and chaotic. Whether this is down to the system capabilities, and related constructions on the BBC Micro, I cant say. What can be said though is due to its level design, you thought about the game progession in a much more stategical way.

I'm currently playing a major part in the Next-Gen adaptation of Repton

Later in the game, things would be spiced up, with enemies which resemble the smoke monster floating round the perimeter of the level, searching for safes, so they would become diamonds. Then in some levels you’d have to collect what appeared like drugs, you’d walk into them and the entire screen would flash. They didn’t do anything though, they were just lying around. Strange. Even stranger though, would be teleportation tiles you could use to travel across the level. Things got trippy, and mind-bending fairly quickly.

The mother of all fucks though was a demonic six-legged green monstrosity. Resting in its egg (Physical properties like every other boulder), if you disturbed it, the egg would crack, and shortly after, this green thing would relentlessly chase you around the level. It was a robot, you cant stop it, it travels as fast as you, one tile per ‘move’, and it never stops. In my opinion, this things infinatly scarier than Sinistar, I’m dead serious.

Repton was later adapted into a multi-million dollar box office smash

The game had the catchiest music in the world, you’ll have to play the video above to hear it. This was the melody that would swing in my head for weeks if I even looked at the game, and it loops throughout. In addition to its music, the game had a completely customizable level editor, where you could not only construct additional levels, but completly reskin the game. Superior Software chose to do that, using the level editor to create a couple of additional versions of the game, “Life with Repton” and “Repton Around The World”.

There were many great games on the BBC Micro, most of which were infact clones of popular games Atari had the rights to. Other games like “Magic Mushrooms” (A platformer where you collect mushrooms), “Ghouls” (A difficult platformer where you eat dots and avoid ghosts… it isn’t Pac-World), “Dare Devil Dennis” (A game where you accelerate and jump over shit) and “Manic Miner” (A game where you collect keys, rather slowly, and do stuff…). However, its Repton 3 that earns its title as my favorite BBC Micro game.

The rights to the game has now been picked up my an American shareware developer, who develops under the name Superior Interactive. Personally, I’m not a fan, the new graphics are atrocious. But the original, overall, its rather good. If you’re feeling up for a completely retro game, and are ready to give your brain a full workout, take a look at Repton 3.

Find Repton 3 on eBay

Repton (C) Superior Interactive

This article was originally written in October 2009

You, when you lose your final life, realizing you had a bomb spare

[Audio clip: view full post to listen]

As Pinball Dreams fills my time on the iPhone, this is the game that did it for Xbox 360. The first Xbox Live Arcade game, this addictive package got me checking Xbox Live Arcade back in the early days, probably every couple of minutes, for a new game. This was before Xbox eventually settled on a new game every Wednesday, so my efforts were in vain.

I’d best describe Geometry Wars as a mixture of Robotron 2084, Space Invaders and Snake. Snake, because the longer you play, the greater the chances you’ll perish. Space Invaders, because you work through ‘herds’ of identical enemies with increasing difficulty. And Robotron 2084, because its EXACTLY the same game mechanic!

Exactly the same game!

As soon as you’ve “completed” Geometry Wars, by working your way through the immediate cycle of enemies, the game turns from a game of survival, to a game of endurance. The longer you stay alive, the higher your multiplier, and the higher your points. Its due simply to this game mechanic that the leaderboards had been radicalized several times through its first year on Xbox Live. A month or two after launch, a dude was interviewed for breaking a million, claiming the highest score. Only, a couple of weeks later, his score was smashed with a few extra million.

There’s a video online where a dude breaks 16 million, and I think its safe to say that even that video is outdated.

For me however, theres no way I could even break the top thousand. I’m the best Geometry Wars player among my friends on Xbox Live, however as soon as those tinny swarms of what I call ‘needles’ appear, I’m totally fucked. I just have absolutly no clue how to defeat those guys.. Ugh.

Buy Geometry Wars now from the Xbox Live Marketplace

Geometry Wars (C) Bizzare Creations

This article was originally written in October 2009

Track and Field is Bishi Bashi Special, if you take away anything that involves tapping particular buttons, and anything at all quirky. Track and Field, is fierce, competitive button mashing. Forget Dance Dance Revolution, Forget Wii Fit. Track and Field will fuck you up so bad, your wrists will be numb for weeks.

Could be a pro or a con, depends if you’re that kind of guy..

The true reason this game is so magic though, isn’t shown above. This was the game for me that defined a hardcore same-room multiplayer experience. Multitap was made for this game, as this game was made for multitap.

The atmosphere is tense, as everybody mashes their controllers, with the determination to win. Mashing would never work though, so you’d dip your thumb into the bottom rim of your t-shirt, and rub that on the controller instead… This was a game the regular joe not only cared about, but had a strong passion to win. You gathered the same kind of vibe playing this game, as you would in a bar arm-wrestling somebody. However now with online gaming, I doubt you’ll get this kind of feel again. Perhaps this game acts as the pinnacle of “old school” multiplayer.

Perhaps Konami senses it, because to me, the newer additions in this franchise seem to resemble Bishi Bashi more than the original Track and Field games.. With the focus less on these games and more on FIFA, which can be played online or off, its like the line has blurred between the ‘hardcore minigame collection’ (This), and the casual (Bishi Bashi). I dunno..

Not quite the same... amirite!?

Well, I’ve got the game again, and I’m as shit as I was back then. Absolutly nothing beats that original atmosphere… Except for maybe the “Name Entry” background loop. Damn, that’s so punchy, and unnecessary hardcore! Junglist massive…

Buy Track and Field now from the Playstation Store

Track and Field (C) Konami

This article was originally written in October 2009